Back in the Stacks

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

Three years ago this month I wrote the poem that I share tonight, Back in the Stacks. In 2010 my best friend and I thought it’d be fun to host our own podcast. It was. 82 episodes and seven seasons later it has gone from a mostly weekly show to one that we do every now and then. Our last episode was in June of this year. I honestly thought it was much longer ago. You can’t deny the on air chemistry of the hosts! I saw co-hosting the show as an opportunity to do the type of job I’d intended to do when I was younger. I’d always loved broadcast journalism. I was, from what I was told, pretty good at it. I remember when I was younger coming up with copy and using my parents’ camcorder to record news shows. And when I didn’t have any original copy I’d read from the newspaper.

In high school I had the opportunity to do some work for Media One (now Comcast) as a cub reporter. The show I did was even nominated for a local Cable Ace Award. I decided that I would not pursue broadcast journalism and instead follow my then husband to Milledgeville. In its stead I did my second option, business. In my family most females go into business, hospitality/travel or medicine. Sure, I’d thought I wanted to be a doctor at some point but I realized soon enough that I didn’t have the temperament for it, sufficient passion for science, or the real love or tolerance for sick people. Hospitality/travel was a mild interest but I love business. Although I work in a library my primary focus is in administration and so I get to do all the things I like, create policies and procedures, budgets, administrative tasks, etc. I especially love the technology side of it!

Our loosely related library show is on iTunes so feel free to download an episode or two or 82! When I say loosely, I mean very loose. You’ll have the chance to hear both Barry and myself openly discuss a number of topics from the inappropriate to downright funny. I’m sure we’ll do another show some time but Barry now has his own show and the responsibilities of our day job has drastically increased as a result of budget cuts. However, I’m sure if we get people asking for more, we’d oblige. Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook!

Sometimes Doors Close

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

I wrote this poem about someone whom I really loved. He once loved me. However, we missed the window of time when we may have actually been able to have a great relationship. Instead, we remained in each other’s lives until a friendship turned pathetically into a very unhealthy friends with benefits situation. I hate what the friendship/relationship became but even now I can think of him with love and fondness. I know never to go down that road again but I am happy that I felt the love that I feet for him.

This poem is about when we became more than friends. I felt that the timing was perfect but for him so much had changed. I was blind to it but I crossed the very line I never intended to. Looking back on it now it’s good that in that case Another Door Closes. Sometimes things are never meant to be what you thought it could or would be. However, I treasure the experience, I treasure the way that I felt for him in that place and time, and I even now treasure the heartache that I needed to experience in order to be where I am today. I will always love him, and that’s okay.

Not Quite, Almost

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

This poem is about someone whom, had I been sane, I would not have gotten involved with. Better yet, it was the circumstances that were quite crazy. There are things in life that you tell yourself you will never do. Honestly, never say never. I really think that sometimes we must err in order to make sense of things. I used to be so critical of the actions of others but when I came off the soapbox I realized that I too struggle with some of the very issues many of us do. In this particular case I got involved with someone who was supposed to be completely off-limits. I made excuses, he gave me plenty of them, and I made it okay in my mind. I knew it was wrong but in the moment none of it seemed to matter. Again, we justify our actions so that we can sleep at night.

Almost speaks to my heart’s yearning at the time. I really wanted to move past my divorce. The feelings of not being enough and self-loathing persisted even five years after the ink had dried on the divorce decree. This “relationship” almost caused me to become fully unravelled but that’s where my BFF shines, he’s always there to keep me on the right track. I think fondly of this poem and now that I can look back at that period of my life and be okay knowing that it’s behind me, I’ve come out stronger on the other side. We almost do any number of things in life. We almost get married to the wrong person, we almost actually marry the wrong person, we almost fully admit to ourselves that it’s sometimes okay to be human.