Not Quite, Almost

This poem is about someone whom, had I been sane, I would not have gotten involved with. Better yet, it was the circumstances that were quite crazy. There are things in life that you tell yourself you will never do. Honestly, never say never. I really think that sometimes we must err in order to make sense of things. I used to be so critical of the actions of others but when I came off the soapbox I realized that I too struggle with some of the very issues many of us do. In this particular case I got involved with someone who was supposed to be completely off-limits. I made excuses, he gave me plenty of them, and I made it okay in my mind. I knew it was wrong but in the moment none of it seemed to matter. Again, we justify our actions so that we can sleep at night.

Almost speaks to my heart’s yearning at the time. I really wanted to move past my divorce. The feelings of not being enough and self-loathing persisted even five years after the ink had dried on the divorce decree. This “relationship” almost caused me to become fully unravelled but that’s where my BFF shines, he’s always there to keep me on the right track. I think fondly of this poem and now that I can look back at that period of my life and be okay knowing that it’s behind me, I’ve come out stronger on the other side. We almost do any number of things in life. We almost get married to the wrong person, we almost actually marry the wrong person, we almost fully admit to ourselves that it’s sometimes okay to be human.

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