For over a decade I’ve held on to someone who was never mine, someone I should never have held in such regard. While there were some wonderful moments, they were far less than the pain I’ve carried throughout its duration. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you want, especially when you’re too blind to see that you’re not wanted.
My self worth was always defined by external forces, by other people, by two people. And since both of those relationships failed, I felt that I too was a failure. That I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worth it, that I was undesirable. With my formative years now decades behind me, I see where things took a developmental turn for the worst.
Continue reading “I’m Already Gone”