There are a number of poems I’ve written about this specific person. We’ve not yet made it to his named poem but I had loved this person since I was 19. He was completely wrong for me. He was the stereotypical bad boy. He drank, did drugs…I thought he was so deep, so misunderstood. I thought that I could fix him, that he would change for me. I enjoyed his company and disturbingly loved that I was the one he called in the wee hours of the morning, usually quite drunk. I was young, inexperienced and I suppose I just watched too much television or bought into the fairytale. What I do know is that I truly loved him. Unhealthy or misguided as it was, I did truly and deeply love him and I still have love for him even now. He’s no longer in my life but he was a big part of my past and there he will forever be. And in that way, he played a Cameo.
I wrote this poem about someone whom I really loved. He once loved me. However, we missed the window of time when we may have actually been able to have a great relationship. Instead, we remained in each other’s lives until a friendship turned pathetically into a very unhealthy friends with benefits situation. I hate what the friendship/relationship became but even now I can think of him with love and fondness. I know never to go down that road again but I am happy that I felt the love that I feet for him.
This poem is about when we became more than friends. I felt that the timing was perfect but for him so much had changed. I was blind to it but I crossed the very line I never intended to. Looking back on it now it’s good that in that case Another Door Closes. Sometimes things are never meant to be what you thought it could or would be. However, I treasure the experience, I treasure the way that I felt for him in that place and time, and I even now treasure the heartache that I needed to experience in order to be where I am today. I will always love him, and that’s okay.