The Fictionalization of Reality, A Trivial Pursuit

I’ve been relatively radio silent on all social media and on my blog. I’ve cocooned myself, nursing self-induced injuries to my self-esteem and self-worth. Life has a way of reminding you that you’re not really the one in control. Control is often times an illusion under which lives turmoil and discomfort – reality.

I finally extricated someone from my life whom I cherished. The problem was that my feelings marred the picture of who they actually are. No matter the bad, I held on to the little slivers of good. Could they have been a soul mate? I thought so. In some ways, it felt unlike I’d ever felt before. However, I looked at that person through a very filtered lens. Ignoring the bad, relishing in the good. Just because you see someone in a particular way, it doesn’t mean that that’s who they really are. In the month since our last correspondence, I have not yet had a day where my thoughts don’t linger. Should’ve. Could’ve. Would’ve. Continue reading “The Fictionalization of Reality, A Trivial Pursuit”

Reality Sucks

3/23/17

Every time I crack the door,
You slither your way back in.
Always to toy with my emotions,
And play deep beneath my skin.

With age is supposed to come wisdom,
Not true in reference to you.
With 29-year-old eyes I still view you,
Again and again, I let you creep your way back in.

You want to know you’re wanted,
All these years later still.
Yes, unrequited passions,
Lingers for you still.

Our paths will never cross again,
I’ve made sure that they won’t.
Because I understand what I am to you,
And to you, I’m just a joke.

Whenever you wanted to wield control,
On my door, you’d always knock.
Naively I would let you in,
You’d ravage me non-stop.

I always think that somehow you’ve changed,
But that reality is never true.
The one that I’m now left with,
Is the reality without you.

It’s what’s humane and necessary,
Like a dog, you’ve been put down.
You’re not the person I envisioned,
You will never be the one.

I’ll love the thought of you for a lifetime,
Our shared memories I will always treasure.
But I’ve blocked you for a reason,
Because I’ll always love myself better.

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Image courtesy of Cubialpha from Pixabay.com.