With No Known End In Sight

It’s been quite some time, I know. I have always felt that despite the often sad tone in my writing, I end each piece from a place of strength. I’ve struggled with that lately, rather, for months now and so my willingness to make a public post has not been a significant priority. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been on my mind. It’s even a part of my to-do list, I simply didn’t feel inspired enough to post, and there be a hopeful ending. I’m not sure how this post will end, much as I didn’t know that its beginnings would transpire today.

Like so many of us, there have been plenty of moments where I have felt defeated by life. Some moments darker than the next. I’ve struggled with feelings of self-worth and have often lamented on how unfair life seems to be. However, today, with my 80-something-year-old grandmother nestled comfortably on the couch in our living room, I write because of life’s simple pleasures. There sits the woman who helped to raise me, who is still my rock and guide and whose passing would undoubtedly have me unhinged for some time. Losing my other grandmother five years ago still weighs on me. I miss her and think of her every day. I am grateful and blessed to have had her in my life into my 30s. I know that many aren’t as fortunate. Continue reading “With No Known End In Sight”

Leave Me Alone – Leaving Neverland

Having also not yet watched the Leaving Neverland documentary, my opinions of Michael Jackson still unchanged, I will make my comparisons brief. There are periods in our lives where we feel violated, stripped of our innocence, used. And when we politely and sternly ask to be left alone, we are haunted still. We are left tattered, worse for wear and for a time, defeated. But at the end of the day, all we ask is for you to Leave Me Alone.

My story is not unique. I thought it was for some time, having treasured every poisoned moment. Throughout the years I was not allowed to move past the situation. I had buried the memories, the desires, the hope that I’d once felt and shared and as if on cue it and he would rear its head of malcontent. Continue reading “Leave Me Alone – Leaving Neverland”