The Sound of Silence

It’s interesting, the things that your mind can figure out once you allow yourself a little bit of silence. I’ve started to use my daily meditation app again, Headspace. At first, I had been paying the costly monthly fee to use the service. When I canceled it, I had to go it alone. I finally broke down and paid for an annual subscription. Considering some very recent changes in my monthly income, I won’t take the subscription for granted.

I’m always inside of my head. What I mean is that the path around my reflective pond is very worn. Depending on the situation, I can be very steady, careful and cautious. Then there are moments, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, where I’m more adventurous, throwing caution to the wind. It is the latter that often causes me an enormous deal of strife. Continue reading “The Sound of Silence”

Death of Our Nation?

Is the title a bit polarizing? So too is the upcoming events of the day. It’s inauguration day. After what felt like years of campaigning when the dust settled it again, in our recent history, grace was bestowed upon a victor who did not have the majority of the votes of the people. Our democracy often makes us feel so cozy until we realize the dynamics of it. It’s as if we vote by proxy, entrusting our will to middlemen (and women) who then cast the decisive vote for president. Trust issues?!

Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a Hillary supporter at the onset. I’m still not really. In the end, I felt that she was the lesser of two evils which, by the way, is a horrible place to be. She just couldn’t get past all the controversy. She always seemed to be trying to get in front of a news story. And that certainly isn’t to say the king of polarizing opinions fared much better. However, he is the one who will be in the Oval. Continue reading “Death of Our Nation?”

Oh, Don’t Let’s Fool with Any Books Today

Today’s post title is a line from my favorite movie and the quote for this month on my Gone with the Wind wall calendar. However, today ironically is about books. For years I’ve thought about publishing a book of my poetry. My best friend even prodded me a few times. But there was always some reason why I didn’t quite get it done. This very same friend thinks that New Years Resolutions are arbitrary and is also a famous author in his own right. While another of my friends (actually, I haven’t really decided if we’re to be friends) has already stumbled on one of his Resolutions – within 2 hours of ringing in the New Year.

We all aim to improve ourselves when the New Year rolls around. We endeavor to exercise (#1) and eat healthier (#2). For me, those two are among my short list of things I hope to accomplish in 2017. Much of 2016 was brutal. Although it was the year that we purchased our new home (isn’t it funny when they say do you rent or own and really the question should be, do you rent or mortgage), it was also one marred with enormous emotional struggles. Many days I just wasn’t okay. No matter how hard I tried to will myself into feeling better, it just didn’t happen and the meds only kept me precariously at the edge. Thus, my 3rd resolution is to overcome my daily defeat. Living with depression is difficult. As I’m sure those of you who cope with it can attest, that’s the understatement of the year. 2016. I am always so hard on myself, analyzing and over analyzing, etching circles around the reflective pond of my mind. There are moments where I’m so crippled by my despair that getting out of bed is a challenge. Some days it’s a challenge that I cannot overcome. Continue reading “Oh, Don’t Let’s Fool with Any Books Today”