Closing Time

Yesterday. Wow, yesterday. While it didn’t go the way I wanted it to, it went the way it needed to. Sure, it was a decade in the making, and sure, it flipped on its head my belief in love, but I’m in a better place for it. After a series of texts and one phone call, I know that I’m finally going to be okay.

I’m in love, hopelessly so. While this is no new revelation, what is new is that I can now say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It’s been a decade’s long journey, a marathon. I have loved this person despite everything, despite all the reasons why he didn’t deserve my affection. And while I was previously very bitter and pained around it, I think it’s all starting to make sense in my thought-filled head. I was and will always be just an option for him. I am not, have ever been or ever will be a necessity for him. Continue reading “Closing Time”

Letting Go & Moving On

So much can happen in a weekend. This weekend was no different. From the nostalgia of attending my nephew’s high school football game to being gifted artwork created by my uncle (see featured photo) to the death of a family member, time waits for no one. What all these events did was provide me with the time and opportunity to reflect on the person that I am and the love of family.

No matter the cost, be yourself. I’m guilty of spending too much time in my head, analyzing and over-analyzing my own thoughts and actions. I don’t need anyone but myself to provide criticisms. I reached a point of acceptance for the person that I was and who I am. No more making excuses or ridiculing myself on being me. I’m not perfect, but there’s only one me, and I kinda like her! Continue reading “Letting Go & Moving On”

Time Waits For No One – Friday

I can’t believe that my nephew is a senior in high school. Until recently, and not until I rode with him in his vehicle, he was still my little Jordo. He has no idea what he’s added to my life. Since I chose not to have children he and my niece are my kids. Well, they have always been the kind of kids that I could return when I inevitably had my fill. For you parents out there, kudos. I don’t think that I was built for it.

On Friday I went to my first high school football game since I graduated high school. It was, as any good story would have it, a beautifully perfect day. I proudly joined members of my family to support our quints section leader. With a newly minted nickname, no mercy spared in our showing him how much we love him by wearing matching custom t-shirts and yelling out, “We love you, [insert nickname here].” Yeh, I’ll spare him more public humiliation. Continue reading “Time Waits For No One – Friday”