Feeling Alive

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

Today’s poem, Alive, is one I wrote over six years ago about someone I had a crush on. Mum’s the word. I have never disclosed who this poem is about but one or two people may be able to guess. At that time I’d been divorced for over three years and although I didn’t feel ready to be married again, I had been really crushing on this person. Now, years later I wonder what I was thinking as I have changed and that person has remained frustratingly the same. Okay, let me correct that, he is still the same person I had the crush on but the things that annoyed me about him have only been amplified with time.

I must admit, there are still moments where my mind wanders off but I know in my heart that this was and would always be just a crush. This crush provided a great respite from the depression cloud that I lived in prior to and after my divorce. He provided me with moments of longing, feelings that I thought were lost forever. It’s good to have a crush every now and then. They can help you through periods where you feel completely unattractive. A hint to his identity, though I’ll never admit who he really is… In the poem I talk about sharing a moment.  Yes, we did in fact share a moment but I was too naive to realize it at the time. Like I said, it all turned out for the best. I’m just happy that in having that crush I didn’t become so cold that I wasn’t able to allow love back into my life.

Learning Acceptance

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

Today’s poem of the day, Acceptance, is one that has never been shared before. Written in 2011 it was written when I was still very unsure of Kenrick’s feelings about me. For those who know me, relationships or any facsimile of one was always something that proved very difficult for me. This poem, like many of my others, showcases my insecurity, vulnerability and even lower self-esteem. I didn’t use to think much of myself when it came to being someone’s partner. Even though I was a very active participant I have always struggled with who I was inside of an intimate relationship. There was a lot of doubt, a lot of jumping in without looking, a lot of chaos.

I learned a lot in my 20s and feel that my 30s are now a time of truly being comfortable in my own skin. I like myself most days. The days that I don’t it’s because I’m disappointed in my actions or lack thereof. We are our very own best and worse critic. I am starting to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. And to me, that’s a big deal. How many people really feel that way about themselves? There are times when I’d like to say that I wish I’d not lived some of the missteps of my past. Sure, I could do without the pain. But, if it wasn’t for those missteps and learning and reflecting upon them, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and the person I’ll be in the future. For that very reason alone I’m contented by the good, the bad, and everything in between.

May the Writing Somewhat Commence

Published on by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

I’ve decided that starting today I would re-debut my poetry. I’m considering “publishing” or highlighting a poem each day. I think that they may even provide fodder for my blog posts. I few moments ago, as my husband blissfully sleeps beside me and I ward off sleep, I grabbed the folder of poems I’ve amassed over the years. I tend to do my best writing when I’m, when I’m morbidly depressed. I can honestly and somewhat thankfully say that those periods of my life are over. Somewhat thankful because I rather enjoyed the poems I was able to write in my moments of sadness and despair. Now I feel silenced. I began writing a poem a few days ago only to have completed a couplet. I wish I’d been able to finish it. However, I am glad to share my work with others. I can at least hope that it will allow others to not feel alone in their times of despair.

And so let’s begin. Today’s Melancholic Malady is the alphabetical first in the list of over 50 poems. A Feeling (pardon me for including an article of speech as an alphabetical first), was written in 2010. This proved to be a very emotionally taxing period in my life. In that very year I experienced great heartache and great love. This particular poem I wrote for and about my now husband a few months after we met. Read it, share your thoughts. Enjoy.