Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

I am often shocked at how many days and weeks that can go by without me taking the time to blog. I’m the type that hates to just type a paragraph. I like to carve out time where I can allow my words to wrap warmly around me as I sit and type away on my computer. The chaos of the day has now ebbed and although it’s late, the hour has yet to weave its web of sleepiness. I’ve had a very hectic June. I have been doing training for my independent contractor call center job. It is all-consuming. We meet for 4 hours every day. We pretty much only get Sundays off. Plus there is homework that can take up to two hours to complete. Once training is finished at the end of the month I’ll be able to set my own schedule. I’m anxiously working toward that. It’s not that we’re not being paid for training, however, it will be very nice to select more flexible hours that will then allow me to better accommodate my other projects.

Things have been well. Outside the usual complaints of having no money and being a lot fatter than I’d like to be, I’m content. I’ve still not yet packed away the mini stacks of items around our two-room suite. However, I keep telling myself that I’m a day closer to doing so. Just a few days ago I got a real creative moment going for about a half an hour and was able to finish writing 4 poems I’d previously started plus write 2 more. Now, if only I could begin writing the novella I’ve been talking about for years! I will say that when speaking to a cousin of mine recently, I came up with an idea that will add layers and even more of myself to the story. And in truth, I do have my notes for at least two sections of the book, I really just need to get it done. However, my days have been so long recently. I’ve been busy but my income would say otherwise. I’m doing a lot of work, putting in the time, developing relationships, you name it, I’m doing it.

What I don’t like is that I’m often on the computer for over 12 hours per day. I love the computer. There is always something that I could be doing, however, I also really love my husband and we haven’t been spending as much quality time together as I’d like. He goes to work hours before I wake up. When I arise at around 8:45am on weekdays I am rushing to start my day. I’ve created a daily agenda and chore list that I’ve all but full abandoned. Today, needing to write my newspaper article early so that I wouldn’t be consumed by the upcoming week, I decided that I’d also take the time to post on my somewhat neglected blog. There is truly a calm that I feel when writing. I have enjoyed it from when I was a child. And so it never really feels like work. However, I did realize this week that the likelihood of me every pursuing another advanced degree has become even slimmer. I had a project for a client that involved me writing a research paper. Although the client provided the content and even highlighted the areas that I needed to focus on, it took 5 long hours with moments of highs and lows to get it completed. Upon finally completing it I knew that it was highly likely that it was my last academic paper. Not even the compensation for the completed project was enough to shake the disdain I had for it. I am glad that I did get this project because this revelation was needed.

Being self-employed has been a fulfilling life change. I’m learning more about myself and what it is that I enjoy doing for leisure and for work. I’m hoping that I can build up my business enough to become more self-sufficient and stable but I also know that I have a long road ahead. Regardless, it’s a good time as things are really looking up. And so on that note, I will take my leave. Tonight’s poem is Without Looking Back. I just re-read it and was transported back to when I wrote it. The feelings washed over me and I was that person again. I don’t remember the year I wrote it but I do remember who it was about. It’s crazy to think that a person who was only actively in my life for about 3 to 5 months over a decade ago is still so much a part of me. Food for thought.

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