LaToya M. Davidson-Perez

I find myself in a horrible mood. I feel beaten down and a bit discouraged at the moment. I realize that not every day or even every moment can be a good one, however, I suppose I didn’t want to allow myself to have a bad one. When I woke up this morning I felt like today was going to be a good day. We’d received an offer on the house from the first people to see it and was awaiting what I felt would be an agreement to our counter offer and I had some very high hopes regarding a job opening that I allowed myself to get excited about. Now, well, all of those hopes and excitement has been dashed. Not only could the potential buyers not afford our modest counter offer (for less than the asking price but more than their initial offer), the job I’d hoped to get in my hometown was seemingly out of my grasp within hours of me having applied for it.

So, maybe it wasn’t the job I wanted. It was in the area that I wanted. I still have many pokers in the fire but rejection of any sort is still rejection. My hubby and I are moving regardless of us selling or renting the house. It only makes sense to be closer to family. And, theoretically there are more opportunities. There are so many jobs that are available that it’s hard for me to understand not already obtaining one. Now that the shoe is on the other foot I can’t imagine what it would be like to be unemployed for months or even a year. I was naive in thinking that I’d already have a job to come home to but the reality of it is much worse. Soon both my hubby and I will be unemployed. That’s just so very strange. Continue reading “Sometimes There Are Bad Days” →

The past two days have been filled with ups and downs. I think that is par for the course. I’ve been angry and agitated and just plain tired. I have used quite a bit of my sick leave worrying more about the job that I’m now leaving than on my own recovery. I’ve still been experiencing some discomfort from it all and I only wish that the stress of my current professional life going up in a blaze of glory was one less thing on my plate.

So, the good news is that on Sunday our realtor came over and we now have a for sale sign in the yard and a lockbox on our door. I anticipated things moving slowly given the economy. However, due to where we live and I assume because our home is immaculate, the two people who have seen the house wants it. One is a renter and the other a buyer. So I assume that by tomorrow or Monday we’ll have an offer on the house. It’s exciting. It’s sad. It’s so many things that I can’t fully express. Whenever I think about work I start to have a panic attack. I hate when I have to resort to pills to calm me down. Continue reading “The World Keeps on Spinning” →

It was a bit of an off day. My husband and I were up until 5am working on job applications. We’re tenacious. We have to be. Our realtor rescheduled her visit but not in time for me to be awakened at around 9. I thought that I’d be able to go back to sleep but the drive to remain productive overruled and I have been up ever since. With the weekend upon us I thought about all the things that I’ll have to do when working from home this coming week. No matter how hard I try I am doubtful that I’ll have everything finished up in time. There is a lot of knowledge that is locked away in my brain that I’ll need to put in writing before I hang up my name tag.

When I’m done, I am finished with the life I’ve had for over a decade. We plan on moving so it really will be closing a chapter of my life. Not too long ago I sat in bed beside my hubby and for the first time since handing in my resignation I started to cry. There have been moments here and there when tears momentarily came but this time I started to bawl. I honestly didn’t think that I would at that juncture but I did. My husband held me and asked if I regretted my decision. No, I told him. I told him that our house will soon no longer be our home. Then the intensity worsened when, crying into his chest, I told him that I was scared about the reality of no longer working with my best friend. He rubbed my back, coaxing me to let it out. I cried a few moments longer and then regained my composure. No, I don’t regret the decision, I regret that the one constant in my life for the past 12 years will become a memory. Continue reading “Tonight I Cried” →