Category: blog

I used to think that sometimes having the support of family and friends was over-rated. For the people that know me best they know that I like to keep to myself or my very small circle of friends. I generally don’t like people I often say. However, yesterday was a day where the persistence of having family and friends contact me during a very difficult breakup helped more than I imagined. Granted, they didn’t always say what I wanted to hear but they did help me to see that life has to go on.

The breakup is still so fresh (not even a week old) that I have yet to leave the house. I am still in the stage where I crazily hold out hope that maybe this was just one big nightmare. But as I lay alone in bed and huddle over to the side of the bed that was once his, I feel moments of relief that I may actually make it through. It’s bittersweet though. I have the bed back to myself and I no longer have to cling to one corner. However, alternately, his once annoying and wonderful snoring body is also now gone forever. Continue reading “When Family and Friends Butt In” →

The funny thing about life is just how often it can throw you for a loop. Just when you think you have things figured out it has a nasty way of saying, nope, don’t get too comfortable. Mere days off of a breakup I can’t help but to think about how

devastating these things can be. Regardless of who wanted to breakup or even the circumstances both sides are left in an emotional state of despair. At least, I assume he’s in despair, I don’t know for sure. You’re left in a place debating your self-worth and you are emotionally bruised and broken. I’m still in the phase where you think about the things that person did in the relationship. You know, the things that were cute when you first started dating, that became annoying after you got to know each other better, and that become cute and endearing when you reflect back after the breakup. The tough thing about relationships is the likely breakup that results from them. You have to put in all the time of grieving, analyzing and over analyzing what happened and what could have been done differently. Then of course there’s the beating yourself up over its demise. Continue reading “When You Have to Say Goodbye” →

There are moments in my life where I wish I could be more like Spock. Yes, I’m a little bit of a Trekkie. I suppose I should want to be more like his father’s species, Vulcan. Intelligent, practical, logical and without the interference of emotion. That isn’t to say that I would be emotionless, I’d just be more rational and act more rationally. It’s interesting to me how often times in science fiction the protagonist is always trying to save the human race. Let’s be honest, we’re nuts. To be human is to be imperfect. To be human is to sometimes be without rhyme or reason.

I recently made the mistake of letting a former friend and flame back into my life. I really should have known better as his actions over the years have only shown me that the concern, love, and respect felt was only felt by me for him. It makes me so angry to be human and to have the strong emotions of disappointment, anguish, and even resentment. I would not choose to love this person, and yet, I always will. While we can’t choose how we feel I know that we can choose what we do and how we outwardly let the person affect you. Because let’s be real, our emotions at their core is not something that can be controlled. They’re innate and carnal. Suppressed or even masked, yes, we can change that but we can’t change what we feel in our core. I know that I’m supposedly giving this person power over me and my emotions but being human, that’s what happens. Continue reading “What Would Spock Do?” →