I used to think that sometimes having the support of family and friends was over-rated. For the people that know me best they know that I like to keep to myself or my very small circle of friends. I generally don’t like people I often say. However, yesterday was a day where the persistence of having family and friends contact me during a very difficult breakup helped more than I imagined. Granted, they didn’t always say what I wanted to hear but they did help me to see that life has to go on.
The breakup is still so fresh (not even a week old) that I have yet to leave the house. I am still in the stage where I crazily hold out hope that maybe this was just one big nightmare. But as I lay alone in bed and huddle over to the side of the bed that was once his, I feel moments of relief that I may actually make it through. It’s bittersweet though. I have the bed back to myself and I no longer have to cling to one corner. However, alternately, his once annoying and wonderful snoring body is also now gone forever.
My brother is not a very talkative person but last night he called to check up on me and stayed on the phone with me for quite some time to ensure that I knew he cared. He offered his home as a sanctuary for me to take some time to relax. However, with a dog and young kids I assured him that I appreciated the sentiment but
that that was no vacation. So many people have been there which is certainly a surprise considering my aversion to people. There are moments where the tears come freely and hard. Moments where my head pounds and the only relief is forcing myself to sleep or talking some very deep breaths, But as a a whole I have to believe that this all happened for a reason. Maybe some random reason but a reason all the same.
I have loved and lost a handful of times and this one in particular is quite difficult. However, thanks to those who have sent well wishes and provided their support. It has been so greatly appreciated.
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