blog – Page 47 – LaToya M. Davidson-Perez

Learning Acceptance

Published on October 21, 2013October 27, 2013 by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

Today’s poem of the day, Acceptance, is one that has never been shared before. Written in 2011 it was written when I was still very unsure of Kenrick’s feelings about me. For those who know me, relationships or any facsimile of one was always something that proved very difficult for me. This poem, like many of my others, showcases my insecurity, vulnerability and even lower self-esteem. I didn’t use to think much of myself when it came to being someone’s partner. Even though I was a very active participant I have always struggled with who I was inside of an intimate relationship. There was a lot of doubt, a lot of jumping in without looking, a lot of chaos.

I learned a lot in my 20s and feel that my 30s are now a time of truly being comfortable in my own skin. I like myself most days. The days that I don’t it’s because I’m disappointed in my actions or lack thereof. We are our very own best and worse critic. I am starting to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. And to me, that’s a big deal. How many people really feel that way about themselves? There are times when I’d like to say that I wish I’d not lived some of the missteps of my past. Sure, I could do without the pain. But, if it wasn’t for those missteps and learning and reflecting upon them, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and the person I’ll be in the future. For that very reason alone I’m contented by the good, the bad, and everything in between.

May the Writing Somewhat Commence

Published on October 20, 2013 by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

I’ve decided that starting today I would re-debut my poetry. I’m considering “publishing” or highlighting a poem each day. I think that they may even provide fodder for my blog posts. I few moments ago, as my husband blissfully sleeps beside me and I ward off sleep, I grabbed the folder of poems I’ve amassed over the years. I tend to do my best writing when I’m, when I’m morbidly depressed. I can honestly and somewhat thankfully say that those periods of my life are over. Somewhat thankful because I rather enjoyed the poems I was able to write in my moments of sadness and despair. Now I feel silenced. I began writing a poem a few days ago only to have completed a couplet. I wish I’d been able to finish it. However, I am glad to share my work with others. I can at least hope that it will allow others to not feel alone in their times of despair.

And so let’s begin. Today’s Melancholic Malady is the alphabetical first in the list of over 50 poems. A Feeling (pardon me for including an article of speech as an alphabetical first), was written in 2010. This proved to be a very emotionally taxing period in my life. In that very year I experienced great heartache and great love. This particular poem I wrote for and about my now husband a few months after we met. Read it, share your thoughts. Enjoy.

Glad It’s Not Sunday

Published on October 19, 2013 by LaToya M. Davidson-PerezLeave a comment

This week has been completely off. Yesterday felt like Saturday and today, Sunday. However, as I did not get any homework done today it’s good that it’s not. I was diligent in doing my chores but that was about it. What I did do was watch the 4th episode of the 4th season of Downton Abbey. I must admit it, I just can’t wait for it to air here in the States and so each week I find it online. It is such a great series. Upon this last episode’s end I was not satiated and looked for something else from the period to watch. I Googled it and found another miniseries, Parade’s End. I assure you, it was no Downton but it did have Benedict Cumberbatcb and Rebecca Hall (who I’ve seen in Lay on the Favorite). I must admit it, I’m a Cumberbitch! I am often enamored by all things British. The hubby and I spent five hours watching all 5 episodes. To be honest, I was shocked he was interested in watching it. However, I do believe he likely did it because it was what I wanted to do. Thoughtful.

I’ve also been really good lately. What I mean is that for over a week I have been watching/counting my calories. In conjunction with Lose It and my Up Band I have been trying to do what I can to be serious about my health. I’m often so tired and my cravings, well, I’ve been giving in to those and the last thing I needed to do was to have a delicious large vanilla milkshake from Chick-fil-A everyday. Since 10/10/13 I have avoided desserts. I wouldn’t say that I’m depriving myself. It’s been good that I have not been craving it, really. I also only get on the scale once a week. Mondays. I refuse to be the type to get on the scale daily. I think I’d go mad if I did. I don’t want to be discouraged and I think that if I weighed daily I’d be even more paranoid about what I ate. I’m hopeful that Monday’s weigh in will be a good one. I’ve been very good with not using up all of my allotted calories in the day. I’ve even tried out two products by Advocare, V16 Energy and Spark. They’ve both really great as a means to getting more vitamins and nutrients. I’m considering doing their 24-day challenge. However, at almost $200 I think I’ll have to wait a little while.