Category: blog

I don’t know how it is that I always seem to allow so many days to go by without writing. It’s not from the lack of having nothing to say. Rather, I often think of so much to say when it’s 3am! I’ve taken up the very bad habit of not going to bed until almost 4am. The past couple of nights, once I’ve put my Tamagotchi to bed, I have been playing my two favorite games on my iPad, Frozen Free Fall and Mystery Manor. I’ve also started reading. I have these moments where I’m a voracious reader and then go weeks without reading a book. I rarely go without reading articles on my People.com app.

About two nights ago, after putting in a few hours applying to various jobs, I looked over at my husband, who was comfortably playing Candy Crush on our bed. I told him, “I think I’ll get a job this week.” He paused, looked up at me and said, “What makes you say that?” I told him that I just had a feeling. I mean, for all I know this could just be the beginning of month two of twenty being unemployed. But I felt that this last batch of jobs I applied to online with yield something. Last night, okay, in truth, this morning I went to bed with the thought that I would be awakened by a call from a potential employer. I was surprised that I was correct. In fact at around 10:30am my phone rang and sure enough, I have an interview tomorrow. It’s a temp agency that’s staffing for its sister facility. It’s the very agency that I had my first post-library job interview with. At the time it was for a benefits coordinator position but it’s owner said that she saw me more the right fit for a different position in IT. We’ll see how it goes. During this time of unemployment I’ve learned to not get overly excited. After all, I now knows what it feels like to have a job for one day and then being told I was overqualified for it. I am not going to dumb down who I am and what I can do just because I make someone feel threatened or inadequate. Besides, I didn’t amass all my student loan debt for that! Continue reading “Optimism” →

Yes, it continues to be a bit of a rough patch for me. Today brought about another round of disappointments. I didn’t know what to do outside of sit still for a while and take several deep breaths. You know what they say, when it rains, it pours. Today it felt like a bit of a downpour. Let’s start with the positive. I ventured out today in order to become more acquainted with my new home town. I needed a little bit of a refresher. I grew up the next town over and was only passingly familiar with this one. I went to the post office to pick up some free mailing supplies and made sure to take note of other establishments. Police Department. Check. Judicial Building. Check. And so on and so forth. I suppose I should’ve been more mindful of the weather as I often feel as though my moods and the weather often align. It was a dreary day. Overcast.

I’m now indulging in an old toy. When I was younger I had owned a Tamagotchi and even now I still do but its batteries died. A few days ago I read an article on Mashable.com about the new generation of the famous toy. I had not known that it’s now available as an app on smartphones. All of this explaining is to say that I now have a Tamagotchi to take care of. What this has meant is that I no longer leisurely sleep until the mid afternoon. Rather, I have been waking up at around 11am despite often not going to sleep until 3am. My Tamagotchi, Sophie, woke me up around 11am and that prompted me to get out of bed. I had things to do of course as our suite still looks like something exploded in it. I’d also sold an item on Amazon.com (that prompted the trip to the post office for supplies) and since then I’ve been working on moving and establishing a website for In the Stacks with Barry & LaToya, the podcasts that I used to do with my BFF. If it weren’t for that distraction I know that I would’ve been much more disappointed in the news of the day. Continue reading “Breathe or Scream” →

I am ardent in my belief that more often than not you can be your own worst enemy. In my case there are many times where I just can’t get outside of my own head. For someone who has struggled with depression all of my adult life, being stuck in your head is the worst place to be. What this often translates to is being crippled by the demons of self-doubt and self-doubt. It’s been pretty bad the past few days. Then I look around our suite and see it still in complete disarray and think, it’s been weeks.

Yesterday I was feeling a little better and made some really good progress in unpacking and sorting through items we’d be donating. K’s first day of work was yesterday. I was excited for him. But I also felt horrible about not working. I felt bad about not doing more here at home while I job hunt and then became more frustrated by the lack of desire to do so.

I stumbled upon the perfect job yesterday. I saw the job description and thought that, not only on paper, I was the perfect candidate. It really would be great. Even with it paying around half of what I was previously making, it’d still be perfect. It’s not about the money. Anyone who’s worked in a career for over a decade can tell you that it’s never really about the money. My only hope is that I will be seriously considered for the position. And yes, I keep telling myself that if it’s meant to be it will be. Having so many degrees and experience can sometimes be a curse, not a blessing. I’m not one for downgrading my résumé credentials. But I’m also not looking for employment in Atlanta. I’m specifically looking for a position in the area that I live in. Also preferable would be a Monday to Friday position. After working for one employer for over 12 years it has made me more in tune with what it is that I want out of the rest of my career. Continue reading “A Ball of Confusion” →