I think that I’m finally starting to find some much-needed balance in my life. I have a job that I love and I get to be close to the family that I adore. It has been a bit harrowing for the past few months. I couldn’t seem to find the time to do all the things that I needed to do. At times I walked around like a zombie and like a hermit, I was always in my office. My nephew and sister-in-law show surprise when I actually surface from my room, go downstairs and join the land of the living. As I start to set more boundaries on what has been allowed to encroach on my personal time, I am finding that I am much happier. I use a detailed schedule to keep me on task and in doing so it has allowed me to find more time to complete the things I need to do. While I know that for some a schedule that dictates what you do virtually every moment of the day is restrictive, I find that it has given me the guidance and sticktoitiveness that I need.

My weekends are now free to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Two glorious days of not having a set schedule or an alarm is enough to relax from the stresses and requirements of the week. Last night I was in such a great mood that I was up until 4am this morning working on my websites. On Thursday I spent a good amount of my downtime again trying to decide if it was time finally time to again self-host my websites. I’d long ago convinced my family members that they didn’t need to do so. This is particularly true if you don’t spend a lot of time online and if you just don’t want to deal with the headache of having to update plugins. Sure, it does cut down on your ability to include ad revenue-making content, but in the grand scheme of things, if you don’t really need all of that then it’s not a big deal. Plus, as is the case with my hubby, brother and father, they have websites and own domains that they do nothing with. Why should I have to deal with updating all the truly unnecessary things that they may’ve added years ago?! Since I’m more active on the web this continues to be an issue of concern for me.

I’m still a little on the fence but have decided to continue to use WordPress.com to host my websites. However, I’m trying to be a lot more proactive in adding content and encourage more traffic to my sites. I’ve been able to add Amazon affiliate links to all my webpages and have even decided to try out StumbleUpon to see if using a paid source will in fact have more people coming to check out my blogs. I’ll delve more into that when I post to my business blog. And now, none of my sites have the subdomain.wordpress.com as its public facing URL. There is now order again in my little world. I was meticulous in selecting the right aesthetics in the images I used on my sites. And my own Blogger account, which I’d only been using to crosspost the blogs I write natively on WordPress has become more of a little gem. I have been approved for Google Adsense and am using the it on that site. Again, it’s too bad that you can’t implement that on a WordPress site. What you can do is sign up for WordAds, but they are selective on who gets to have them. So, basically, people like me who don’t have a lot of traffic don’t get the privilege of taking part. However, I do get to be on their “list” of hopefuls.

Another thing I’m excited about is that I got to be one of the beta testers for Mac OS X Yosemite. While I can’t discuss it, I can at least say how truly awesome even being able to do so has been. There was a very minor hiccup that one of my non-Mac friend helped me resolve but outside of that, smooth sailings. At the very least I have the chance to get acclimated before most others and I get to be on step closer to all the action! I’ve been an Apple Fangirl for almost a decade strong now and I’m beyond excited about anything new Apple puts out. Yes, I drink the Apple juice… I can’t wait for the watch that Apple is rumored to be working on. I’ve even morbidly said that if Apple made a car or a casket, I’d want that too!

This week, actually, let me go a bit further back. Almost two weeks ago I received an email from a company I’d applied to back in January. I’d become used to the “we’re sorry but” emails and had actually simply forgotten that there was still any jobs with the company that hadn’t already been filled or that were simply cancelled. In truth, I applied for 23 different positions. However, on the 15th of this month an email popped into my very crowded inbox from the company. I had to do a double take when I saw that it wasn’t one of the many “we’re sorry” emails. Upon further review it was almost as if I’d received a golden ticket from Willy Wonka. Sure, it was a generic email, but in this case it was more of one of acceptance. It stated that my application and résumé was being forwarded to the hiring department. I laughed to myself and immediately reached out to my BFF and told him the news. The only other person I told was my hubby. It was just enough to know that at least one of my applications made it outside of the general pool. I didn’t expect to hear anything further. After all, when I reviewed which position it was for I was confident that I was merely being tossed into a still large pool. However, on Thursday I got a call from a member of the hiring team to do my initial phone interview. It lasted almost 15 minutes but I honestly didn’t think that I said anything that would’ve made me stand out. In fact, the person I spoke to seemed to be more talkative than I was. However, in the end he said that he’d planned to move my application forward and that I’d likely get a call to schedule an in-person interview in the next week or two.

I’m starting to find success in working from home. I have three active projects. And while my income is still abysmal, I am enjoying what I’m doing and certainly enjoying the lack of a commute. The hubby and I have two brand new cars but I’ve driven mine all of maybe three times while my car-less brother uses it with more regularity. I jokingly call it “our” car. All that is to say that if called for an interview, I’ll definitely go. But that’s where it stops in my mind. Sure, I would and could be successful in the position, but what I’ve learned in my life after library administration is that I’m not going to stress out or allow this to impact me. The last thing I want to do is to go making plans. For many the decision would be an easy one. But I know that there is a great deal more to the quality of life than just a paycheck. Would I turn down the job if it was offered to me? I honestly don’t know. I know what is now making me happy and I also know what it’s like to be back in the “regular” working world. I have so much to be grateful for and it has nothing to do with money. For now, I’m completely okay with that.

I suppose you can say that I”m making up for lost time. Here I am writing this long post, that maybe only a handful of people will even read, that no one will comment on, and it’s been over two weeks since my last post. It then makes me wonder why I’m going to all these lengths to get more readers. It’s not that I’m selling anything, although clicking on my affiliate links would help, but I think that everyone has some need to feel important and relevant on some level and for me it’s not necessarily in trying to obtain fame or anything, it’s just in knowing that I can really relate to others and that even in my periods of despair, I’m not alone.

So, it’s time for another poem. This one was very, well, I was caught up in a moment when I wrote it. I am very passionate about it. I considered calling it Cheater. However, I’m secure enough in my love and adoration for my hubby that I didn’t shy away from writing it. I think that it’s nice if we’re lucky enough to have some really great emotional moments and memories in life and even though Matt is no longer in my life, I’m glad that he had been. So yes, I’m Guilty of having loved him.