On this beautiful Sunday afternoon in Georgia I relax in our hotel room and contemplate where today’s post will take me. A lot has happened since my last post. I was working as an Assistant Store Manager at a Dollar General for several weeks. It was a job that my husband didn’t think I should have taken but I tried very hard to make the most out of the situation. I saw it as a new challenge. A challenge was exactly what it was. In the absence of a store manager it was difficult to adapt to the new setting. Working in that environment was just not good for me at all. I tried but I knew that it wasn’t the right fit. So when I got sick with a severe sore throat on Monday it was just icing on the already chaotic and unfulfilling cake. I took it as the final push that I needed. I worked on Wednesday after taking only a day off to nurse my sore throat. I thought that since I’d begin taking antibiotics from Monday that I would be able to work my entire shift on Wednesday. I even went in early. Sadly, my body just wasn’t ready to be back and my head and heart simply didn’t plan on returning to the game. Sure, I was at times reluctant about the job even while putting forth 100% of my effort, but I tried to ignore the persistent negative aspects of the experience until I couldn’t take it any more. Wednesday, as my sore throat became more severe, I threw in the towel. I couldn’t continue to work for an employer who was absent. I had done everything I could to learn all that I could without there being onsite guidance. However, when it’s clear that you’re a part of something that is disinterested providing support to their own employees, then it’s like any relationship, if only one person is interested in making it work, it’s not going to work.

I am not a quitter. I have felt, over the past few months, that I’m experiencing things that likely would’ve occurred during my 20s had they been more conventional. In my 20s I was embarking on my decade-long career in libraries and didn’t think that I’d be doing any more job hopping. Even prior to my job in libraries I was not much of a hopper. I felt bad. I had tried to psych myself out and had hoped to be able to put in at least 6 months. I honestly think that I could’ve had there been a store manager or even senior staff who weren’t already fully burned out. Regardless, it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m disappointed most in the fact that we are now back to one income. The plus side is that unlike before I’m presently feeling calm about the change. I’m looking forward to looking for a job that I’ll be happier with. I’d also wanted an opportunity to become more aggressive about attempting to work from home. Maybe it’ll happen this time around. Tomorrow, literally and figuratively speaking, is full of wonderful possibilities.

Today’s poem, Security.