After over 12 years working for the Twin Lakes Library System I tendered my resignation today. I was not alone and to be honest, it was prompted by my boss/best friend’s decision to do the same. Sure, I’m disappointed that it was something that I felt I had to do, but I’m also very relieved. I know, it’s crazy. I’m not looking forward to being unemployed, but I am happy to be starting a new phase in my life. I’ll miss working with my BFF. I’ll also miss some of the nuances of the job but I’m anxious to start a new career.
I don’t plan to remain in libraries. My skill set is such that working in libraries was just a piece of the pie. I know that it’s a very difficult time in our economy (we live paycheck to paycheck so I really know!) but there are so many opportunities to be the best person I can be. The way I see it, I’m not so old that starting a new career is impossible. I will miss telecommuting and some other perks of working in Administration but I think that it’s ultimately for the best.
When my husband picked me up from the office (I could only go in for part of the day since I’m still on sick leave as a result of the hysterectomy that I had last month) I was nauseous and shaking. I didn’t even want him to touch me because that felt exhausting to me, like it took energy just being touched. I am not sure how to explain it but it was also a numbing experience. Of course it would be, leaving a place of employ after over a decade, who wouldn’t be in some sort of shock?! I got home and had to lay down for a while. After some rest things started to return to normal. Better than normal even. All the things on my work “to do list” vanished. Well, most of it. Sure, there are things I’ll have to do before I leave next month but there is still a strong sense of relief. People really don’t know how difficult it is to be in library management. It is something you really have to commit to. I put in countless hours and sacrificed a lot. There are so many wonderful memories, heartbreaking frustrations and everything in between but I’m confident that with the support of my family and friends there are bluer skies in my future.
It’s still all new, so unreal. Am I scared? Of course. Who wouldn’t be. But I have to be upbeat about what could potentially be a great outcome. Lastly, as coincidence would have it today’s poem is actually the original poem that I wrote about the podcast series I did with my BFF, In the Stacks. We’re both in the same boat but we’re both two very strong people who’ll be okay.
LaToya M. Davidson-Perez 
Years ago, when I tendered my resignation from TLLS when L.C. was still the director, I had a panic attack the night before, walking up and down my driveway for an hour in the dark, trying to calm myself, but knowing I was making the right decision. You are making the right decision too. This is both a frightening and freeing time. Take a deep breath and go. The sky is the limit, Lady L!
Thanks, Lisa. That means a lot. Over the years Barry and I have both had to make hard decisions but we always did so with the belief that it was what we felt was best for the staff and our patrons. It has been a tiring and sometimes thankless job but I am appreciative of the experience I gained. I’m not looking back, only trying to look forward. There is so much to try and get done in a relatively short period of time. However, I’m anxious to get a jump on the rest of my professional life.