How Silly is This?

I’m here at work and since Google doesn’t like to be logged into both my email accounts plus blogger, with the use of a keyboard I’m blogging on my iPad sitting next to my other keyboard. I’ve decided that despite having a laptop that at home the only way I’m truly likely to be personally productive on the web is if I just get a keyboard for my iPad then I’m in business. Fortunately Barry had one that he wasn’t using and since I don’t have stubby man fingers like him, I’m rocking and rolling.

It’s been an interesting week thus far. It started with my mom telling me that she ‘heard’ the name Antonio Davidson Perez. This was later followed by me receiving Huggies coupons in the mail. I assure you, Kenrick and I have no plans on having children together nor are there any plans on getting married either. My faux-husband and I are where we need to be. Besides, I simply don’t have the energy or the desire for children of my own. I am more than happy being an aunt and taking care of my old man.

I recently finished my first two articles for my upcoming editorialist stint with The Union-Recorder. I have a bit of editing to do with one which may actually amount to me completely rewriting it. I have some great points in it but it needs more unifying and I just am not really sure on what to do at present to fix it. Fortunately I have more than enough time to sort it out.

I’m a bit frustrated lately. More frustrated than usual. I have been wondering if I need to get a second job, if I should go back to school, if I need to do something different. I want to find something that I’m really passionate about and that will make me more content with the rest of the things in my life but I just can’t think of anything. I keep running into these periods. During these times I wonder why meds aren’t kicking in more. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot to be grateful and thankful

for but I’m feeling so very unfulfilled as a whole and am unsure of what to do than will keep my interest long enough. I have plenty of moments of short bursts where I can be happy in a task but then I am bored again. I know that much of this anxiety has to do with the stresses of being financially strapped. That tends to do it to me. If I played the lottery, I’d certainly like to hit it now. I realize that having money certainly doesn’t make your problems go away, but it certainly allows you to breathe a little easier. I have in recent months seriously considered relocating. I mean come on, I have 5 degrees, 2 are Masters and I make what a mid-level manager would make in an outlying metro county. I’ll admit that certainly, my money problems are my own doing, but with as much schooling and practical experience that I have I really should think about possibly changing careers or something. Sigh.

What makes things more difficult is that individually and collectively Kenrick and I are stressed out and so things are just kinda chugging along. Our one year anniversary is on Saturday however he has to work and since we’re broke it’s not like we’d made any plans. It’ll probably be a day of me doing chores or thinking about doing chores. And of course I’ll be doing a lot of DVR watching.

I’ve recently (okay, gradually)put back on weight. That undoubtedly happens when I’m extremely stressed. It amounts to about once a year. I’m like a yoyo when it comes to my weight. I look at my Facebook profile picture, which was taken in November, and I think, wow, that LaToya was pretty. Then I look in the mirror now and this morning made the mistake of hopping on the bathroom scale and immediately thought, ugh. I feel like something has to change but am sure of what to do that will be a positive change. In the past this would be about the time when I’d run my credit cards back up, by things unnecessarily, and, well, accomplish nothing. Sigh. Let’s hope that I can get my act together and get past this hump/bump in the road.

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