LaToya M. Davidson-Perez

There must be an ending. I realize that the last time I posted to my blog was back in April, an entire 5 months ago. A lot has happened during that time that seemed to meet its conclusion today. It has been a chaotic time, as life tends to be. And the recent downturn is one that I can trace back to late 2013, early 2014.

I’m depleted. Emotionally. Physically. But I’m not defeated. The past several years have been difficult as I have tried to adjust to being an independent contractor full-time. Having worked in a W-2 position for the majority of my adult life, the transition has been a bumpy one. In hindsight, I should’ve given far more consideration to choosing this path. I ultimately don’t regret the choices that I’ve made, but there are indeed still moments of pause. Continue reading “For Every Beginning…” →

It was like being sucker punched. The air left the room, and I was in free fall. Over the past several months I have been trying, without success, to be friends with an ex. I’ve devoted my past few blogs to the experience. I thought that if I could overcome the issues of the past, resolve my latent feelings, that we’d get to turn back the clock to before he solidified his place on the ex-list.

I had convinced myself each time that it would be different, that he had changed. Over half a decade had passed since we were involved. We’d both, on the surface, moved on with our lives. And yet, we found ourselves still enamored. Rather, I can only speak for myself. He still had a pull over me. I fell back into old habits, my walls and guard were down. With him, it always was. Easy. I was naive and trusting. I thought nothing of his actions in the past that had led to our initial parting of ways. He’d caused a fracture in my life that took me some time to overcome. And yet, all these years later I mistakenly thought that I was strong enough to endure an attempt at being friends. Continue reading “It’s Not Me, It Really Is You” →

I’ve been relatively radio silent on all social media and on my blog. I’ve cocooned myself, nursing self-induced injuries to my self-esteem and self-worth. Life has a way of reminding you that you’re not really the one in control. Control is often times an illusion under which lives turmoil and discomfort – reality.

I finally extricated someone from my life whom I cherished. The problem was that my feelings marred the picture of who they actually are. No matter the bad, I held on to the little slivers of good. Could they have been a soul mate? I thought so. In some ways, it felt unlike I’d ever felt before. However, I looked at that person through a very filtered lens. Ignoring the bad, relishing in the good. Just because you see someone in a particular way, it doesn’t mean that that’s who they really are. In the month since our last correspondence, I have not yet had a day where my thoughts don’t linger. Should’ve. Could’ve. Would’ve. Continue reading “The Fictionalization of Reality, A Trivial Pursuit” →