I’ve been relatively radio silent on all social media and on my blog. I’ve cocooned myself, nursing self-induced injuries to my self-esteem and self-worth. Life has a way of reminding you that you’re not really the one in control. Control is often times an illusion under which lives turmoil and discomfort – reality.
I finally extricated someone from my life whom I cherished. The problem was that my feelings marred the picture of who they actually are. No matter the bad, I held on to the little slivers of good. Could they have been a soul mate? I thought so. In some ways, it felt unlike I’d ever felt before. However, I looked at that person through a very filtered lens. Ignoring the bad, relishing in the good. Just because you see someone in a particular way, it doesn’t mean that that’s who they really are. In the month since our last correspondence, I have not yet had a day where my thoughts don’t linger. Should’ve. Could’ve. Would’ve.
Some people are not meant to be in our lives for the long-term. This was one of those cases. I was meant only to live in the moment, sucking the marrow of the experience in a finite time and space. For that person, there will always be love coupled with the understanding that we can never be friends, the only path forward is one that leaves everything we shared behind. This time, it’s all neatly boxed up and tucked away in the recesses of my mind.
Painful as it may be, it’s as they say, don’t make someone a priority if they only make you an option and if they show you who they really are, believe it.