LaToya M. Davidson-Perez

I am ardent in my belief that more often than not you can be your own worst enemy. In my case there are many times where I just can’t get outside of my own head. For someone who has struggled with depression all of my adult life, being stuck in your head is the worst place to be. What this often translates to is being crippled by the demons of self-doubt and self-doubt. It’s been pretty bad the past few days. Then I look around our suite and see it still in complete disarray and think, it’s been weeks.

Yesterday I was feeling a little better and made some really good progress in unpacking and sorting through items we’d be donating. K’s first day of work was yesterday. I was excited for him. But I also felt horrible about not working. I felt bad about not doing more here at home while I job hunt and then became more frustrated by the lack of desire to do so.

I stumbled upon the perfect job yesterday. I saw the job description and thought that, not only on paper, I was the perfect candidate. It really would be great. Even with it paying around half of what I was previously making, it’d still be perfect. It’s not about the money. Anyone who’s worked in a career for over a decade can tell you that it’s never really about the money. My only hope is that I will be seriously considered for the position. And yes, I keep telling myself that if it’s meant to be it will be. Having so many degrees and experience can sometimes be a curse, not a blessing. I’m not one for downgrading my résumé credentials. But I’m also not looking for employment in Atlanta. I’m specifically looking for a position in the area that I live in. Also preferable would be a Monday to Friday position. After working for one employer for over 12 years it has made me more in tune with what it is that I want out of the rest of my career. Continue reading “A Ball of Confusion” →

I’ll be honest. Today was a generally crappy day. Nope, I’m not gonna sugar coat it, I’m telling you like it is. The job I hoped to get went to someone else. Actually, it’s not the job I wanted but it had the location and was with a company that I have been interested in working with for a few years. That certainly took the wind out of my sails. I did have a FaceTime interview today but was called an hour early. As a result, I had to be confident in my pjs. It’s a good thing that I wear boring pajamas.

I’ve seen the numerous applications I’ve submit all yield the “we regret to inform you” email returned. This is such a bummer. On the one hand I am glad that I have time to settle in here in our new home. On the other hand, I’ve been so depressed that most days I simply step pass the various piles and boxes that surround us in our suite (my hubby and I now live in my brother’s very spacious two-room three-closet bonus room which I love). Today I’d hoped that I would get more unpacking done. We have a lot of things to document and donate to charity. Instead, I spent the day in front of the computer applying to jobs and wanting to write and read and to just feel like I was being productive. It was just one of those days where I just struggled. I’m still appreciative of my life and feel incredibly blessed but at this moment I feel disappointed in myself. Continue reading “Dismal in Covington” →

My avoidance of my blog and social media has been somewhat deliberate. I have done some writing since my last post but I only did so with an upcoming published newspaper article in mind. So here’s the skinny on the article that will run in The Union-Recorder in about three week’s time. I’m overqualified. Yes, you heard me, I’m overqualified. I had a job for a day. Yes, a job for one day.

Let me explain. I accepted a job offer on the very day of the interview, Valentine’s Day. My first day was this past Tuesday. Everything went well. I was in my element and was extremely useful to, let’s now call him, my boss-of-the-moment. He commended me on my talent and seemed genuinely impressed with my ability to, on the first day, jump in and assist where needed. Despite a drastic pay cut I was willing to do what was needed and was truly interested in learning more about the organization. However, that wasn’t meant to be.

I worked an hour and a half longer than my scheduled 8 hours. I went as far as preparing my boss for the next day and outlining things that I would need and had planned to do. It’s a testament to my work ethic, I don’t like to be idle for long. Upon my leaving there was no doubt that I would return the next day. However, as I assume it must’ve been my downfall, prior to leaving I inquired about what my wage rate would be at the end of the 3-month introductory period. Based on earlier conversations it seemed that the question would not illicit a definitive answer. I was correct. He was unsure and said that he’d need to discuss it with his business partner who was on an airplane at the moment. I left the office expecting to, as he’d said, be told more about what to expect when being brought on through the company and not through the temp agency the following day. After a stellar first day I sent him a text and asked whether or not I was being too premature but if it was okay for me to bring some personal items from home to the office. He responded promptly by saying that it was not at premature and that I should make myself at home. Continue reading “Embarrassed and Ashamed” →