LaToya M. Davidson-Perez

It started on Monday evening. I felt it creep in like the fog that it was on my mind. By Tuesday I was bedridden. I could not function and I was in despair. In the past, my BFF (who was also my boss) would allow me to retreat into solitude for a few days. Now, I’ve had to develop better coping mechanisms and skills. Gone are the days of being a hermit, I can afford maybe one day or so before I have to dig deep and propel myself forward. Was it because I’d not worked out since Friday or was it just simply another one of my low points? Today I began re-emerging from the fog.

I’d managed to also miss two days of taking my antidepressants and communication issues between myself and my hubby only seemed to exacerbate an already stressful time. What I’ve learned to do is not to always fight the lows. I used to become so much angrier when my moods dipped. With age and experience, I know that the only way to deal with it is simply to ride it out. I’ve accepted that there will simply be days where I have to stay to myself and by myself. I have to do nothing and allow myself the time to heal. If you listen closely, bad days can also be a result of your mind and/or body telling you that there is something else that’s wrong. Continue reading “Into Darkness” →

I’ve been on a bit of a high lately. I’ve been jumping tall buildings in a single bound. You know that kind of stuff. And then, the inevitable crash. There’s always some sort of crash. It is the laws of physics after all. What goes up must come down. I think that it has “real life” applications for the non-science individuals like myself. I think that life and moods follow the same principle. I spent a few days in a bit of a gloom after my previous productive high. However, because of an amazing support system as well as my relatively new developed ability to find my center, the dark days didn’t consume me and didn’t last that long.

There are some things I know about myself that are engrained in my core. I’m not happy if I have to live in a professional or personal space where I’m constantly multi-tasking and that I am VERY OCD. I spent so much time being upset with myself and feeling that I had to change because it wasn’t the norm. I think that it was my youth getting the better of m. However, I’ve stopped doing that. I’m not saying that I simply accept all the odd things about me. When there is something that I want to change and that I feel should change, I do what I can to overcome it. Maybe it’s also that I’m getting older and more set in my ways. Regardless, I’m finding that I am happier than I used to be and that it has taken time and deliberate energy to get there. Continue reading “What a Difference a Few Days Make” →

Tuesday turned out to be a somber day. It wasn’t until the brisk fresh air entered my lungs while on our walk that I realized just what it was. I was missing my grandmother. I missed her like a thirst that you know you’ll be unable to quench.

I felt lazy. The lack of sleep had been weighing on me. I pushed open the windows to my office and an almost constant breeze came wafting in. In retrospect, the wind was reminiscent of the same type of breeze I’d feel when sitting on a cool Jamaica day on my grandparents’ veranda, gazing at the ocean and the spectacular view. When walking outside the weather began to turn. Storm clouds loomed above and the wind remained constant. It was cool and refreshing. I was reminded of a day at the beach. In Jamaica, it’s not at all uncommon for the day to move from picturesque to momentarily dreary and back again. Continue reading “Miss You Like Crazy” →