Category: blog

I cried again today. Only for a moment. With our move on Monday looming it was finally time to get started with packing up the life I’d created in my home for the past 8+ years. After speaking with my mom who was insistent that I had no time to lay around in bed I curled up to my hubby and cried for a moment. He asked if the reality of it all was setting in. I nodded and allowed the tears to run down my face and settle on his shirt. It was a moment of weakness. I’m sure there will be others.

Kenrick has been really great about everything. I couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband. While I’ve been wistful in my actions he’s been Gung-Ho about it. Ditching our original plans to each work together in packing up each room I sent him to the one room that I often joked was there for decorative/ornamental purposes, the kitchen. I come from a family of wonderful cooks. I am not and have never aspired to be one of them. I’m glad that Kenrick is okay with my lack of interest in the kitchen. I started my work in our home office. I carefully wrapped my Gone With the Wind collectibles and sought out other breakable items throughout the house. Our three bedroom home is less than 1,300 square feet and due to my OCD and love of storage containers the process seemed to be going well. However, after about an hour or so I was done. I was deliberate in not taking any medication to make it through. I was tempted to but I had stayed up until 4am this morning working on getting my new online and mobile checkbook in order and feared that if I took anything I’d crawl back into bed. Continue reading “Packing it Up” →

Two days ago my husband and I accepted an offer on our house. In addition to that we decided on Monday that we’d be moving next Monday. Today brought even more excitement as I was called by a staffing agency to come in for an interview for a full-time position tomorrow. And I haven’t even mentioned that we haven’t even started packing. I don’t know what it is. I am reluctant to do so. It’s not like we’re changing our minds about the move, but this “sick” time as a result of surgery has been arguably the least restful period in recent memory.

I’m excited. Sort of. I feel as though if I stay still long enough things will stop as well. I’m not even finished with my current job I have been upset with everything regarding wrapping things up. I’ve been angry at myself for allowing the stresses of the job that I’d ultimately resign bother me so much during and after my surgery. I’m most upset that I will no longer be working for and with my best friend. I’m upset that I’m still very tired.

I’m grateful. Truly, I am. It hasn’t even been a full month since handing in my resignation letter and here we are, moving, selling the house, a possible new job within grasp. I think it’s appropriate that tonight’s poem is about my hubby, Kenrick. He’s been here by my side throughout all of the chaos and assures me he’ll be around for as long as I want him to be!

I find myself in a horrible mood. I feel beaten down and a bit discouraged at the moment. I realize that not every day or even every moment can be a good one, however, I suppose I didn’t want to allow myself to have a bad one. When I woke up this morning I felt like today was going to be a good day. We’d received an offer on the house from the first people to see it and was awaiting what I felt would be an agreement to our counter offer and I had some very high hopes regarding a job opening that I allowed myself to get excited about. Now, well, all of those hopes and excitement has been dashed. Not only could the potential buyers not afford our modest counter offer (for less than the asking price but more than their initial offer), the job I’d hoped to get in my hometown was seemingly out of my grasp within hours of me having applied for it.

So, maybe it wasn’t the job I wanted. It was in the area that I wanted. I still have many pokers in the fire but rejection of any sort is still rejection. My hubby and I are moving regardless of us selling or renting the house. It only makes sense to be closer to family. And, theoretically there are more opportunities. There are so many jobs that are available that it’s hard for me to understand not already obtaining one. Now that the shoe is on the other foot I can’t imagine what it would be like to be unemployed for months or even a year. I was naive in thinking that I’d already have a job to come home to but the reality of it is much worse. Soon both my hubby and I will be unemployed. That’s just so very strange. Continue reading “Sometimes There Are Bad Days” →