Don’t Write While Under the Influence

I had to apologize to Evil Voldemort. Now, before I’m asked if I’m crazy (yes, of course, I thought we already determined that), I want to clarify. It’s not at all what you may think.

Many of my subscribers have followed my blog for years and anyone who knows me know that I write from my heart, sharing my thoughts, heartache, and personal struggles. After all, I’m very human too.

A few days ago I was posting to my diary. At least I thought I was. Journaling is a part of my Morning Rituals. Both my diary and blog are on WordPress with the former being only viewable by me. I’ve been voraciously writing lately trying to release the decade’s long pain via cathartic and constructive activity. You know, better out than in! I typically use the WordPress Mac app, which allows me to toggle between the list of accounts that I have access to. Therein lies the basis of the error.

When not on my computer, I tend to type my thoughts into an Apple Note on my iPad or iPhone and then transfer it to my diary when I’m next on my computer. That morning I was medicated and in a haze. That, of course, does not excuse the error, but it does provide you with some context.

What happened next was a comedy of errors that is much less a comedy and more of a tragedy. I mistakenly copy, pasted, and published my very private diary entry to my very public blog. I was mortified!

It was as if time moved at a snail’s pace in the moments that followed. I was about to begin working on my diary post for that morning when I noticed that the post I’d just copied and pasted less than a minute ago was nowhere to be found. Frantic, I was jolted from my haze and knew what must’ve happened. I quickly and permanently deleted the post from my blog. I thought I was in the clear until I realized yesterday that some people read my blog via email.

My very private and personal thoughts were disseminated to several (maybe 200+) email accounts in its entirety. Besides the fact that it was an unedited brain dump, it was not meant for public consumption.

Thus, my need to figure out what could be done, which was then followed by my feeling the need to alert him first and to apologize for the error. That’s just who I am, and I have to always be me. No apologies for that. It felt like the right thing to do.

After this debacle, I at least feel like he’ll no longer feel the need to try to reach out to me or keep tabs on me in the future. So, there’s that silver lining, I suppose. I was still uncomfortable reaching out to him. I don’t usually mention him by name when I write; hence the Voldemort pseudonym, and fortunately did not do so in that post. However, the post was never meant to be shared, and now it’s out there.

So, I apologized to him first because it was primarily about him. I sent off two WhatsApp messages. He saw them and chose not to respond. I then blocked him again. An aside, if you don’t want someone contacting you, why would you read their messages?! I’m just saying. And now I apologize to my subscribers who were likely taken aback by what they may’ve read.

Although I’m not a saint, I do try to be a good person by owning and acknowledging my mistakes. I write about my truth and never mean to cause any offense to my subscribers and viewers.

If you were one of the unlucky souls to have received it (Get Out), please delete it. Also, you never need to tell me if you received and read the post.

This concludes my recent activity of fevered posts. I can now get back to posting with a lot less frequency. I think that would be best for everyone!