I’ve been slipping again. You know, when the bad habits start to creep back in. I still somehow think that my life is just a series of Spring Breaks. What I mean is that I have gone back to the very bad habits of not exercising and staying up until 2, 3, 4 and even 5am. Then, of course, my work day starts around noon and the cycle is set.
Sure, I know that I’m not really a morning person. Actually, I’m not at all a morning person. I like to ease into the day and for the day to start closer to noon. And because I have embraced this I no longer beat myself up about it. I accept that not everyone are morning people and that it is okay. However, last night, er, this morning I had pushed past my being tired and was on the other side of being awake as I tried to finish up a project for a client. I put in 13.82 hours. Much of that time I was working without taking a break. I get into these zones and time and space fall away and I’m just working happily on the computer. However, even when I started to get the shakes, for not having eaten appropriately throughout the day, I pushed on. There were moments that I could hear my heart racing, and still I pushed on. I worked to complete exhaustion. When I finally went to sleep I was beyond tired. And when my alarm went off at noon today I felt as though I had been run over by a truck!
I’m getting back on track, though. I know you really can’t tell by way of my very late post this evening. Today I’d intended to stop working early enough to enjoy an evening doing whatever it is that I wanted to do. However, instead, I worked more. I like to be prepared as I head into the next day. And even though I checked off a lot of boxes today, I still feel like there is so much more that I need to get done. I have yet to even look at my taxes and everything that goes with it. I have all the data but for the first time, it’s just not as meticulously organized as it should be. I know that subconsciously that’s why I’ve not been sleeping as well as I should and why I’m so filled with anxiety. I’m avoiding something that will impact me in a big way. I can’t keep putting it off. I have to accept that I’ll likely owe the IRS and that I’ll have to figure out how to start paying back my student loans in a big way. Tomorrow. I’ll think about that tomorrow.
Today, I’m relishing the fact that I have checked yes in all of my accountability boxes for the day. I went back to the gym and was actually really happy about doing so. I was in my own zone and although it has been weeks since I last went to the gym and almost as long since I’ve done any exercise, I did take the first steps back in the right direction. So no, I didn’t get to bed early tonight, but it will be a great deal earlier than it has been in recent weeks and for that, I’m truly happy to be getting back to the basics.