Can You See Me Now?

For weeks I’ve been manic. In truth, I have been for over a year or so, possibly more. With yesterday’s revelation of it being the beginning of a new chapter, it’s been challenging to move forward. We must look back to move forward. Despite our best intentions, life never seems to go quite as planned. There are things that I believe today that I did not a few years ago. As we grow up the things that once seemed right, aren’t. Instead, the lines blur. Right and wrong may be, different than you thought they once were. Or maybe they’re the same, you’re the one who’s now different. Changed.

I can’t believe that before I know it I’ll be 40. I don’t think that I’m adult enough to be 40-years-old, not when in areas of my life I’m underdeveloped, like a child. I have not been able to sleep for over a week. During those┬ásleepless nights, I’ve struggled with the person I’m supposed to be and the person who I am. There are people in our lives that you can’t seem to get past even though you must. And although it may just all be in your head, letting go forces you to take a painful look at yourself, who you were, who you are, and who you’re becoming.

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Rejection: The Greatest Equalizer

This post is many things. It’s a love letter, it’s a eulogy, but most importantly, it’s acceptance. And while there is a temptation to outpour all the thoughts that are inside my head, I will respectfully refrain. Also, it being Friday the 13th is not lost on me.

Why? Because sometimes we should focus on the destination and jettison the attachment and constant looking back at the journey. How many times should we analyze the same unchanging situation? A fixed point in the past will always be a fixed point in the past. Don’t pin your future to it. You can’t take it with you, but you sure can stubbornly drag it along for years and refuse to let it go. After time you become comfortable in the discomfort.

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