For some, the memory you have of finding out that Santa Claus wasn’t real is seared into your consciousness. And for me, it’s in the dismantling of my naivety. With the demolition of the LaToya who believed in fairy tales rises a LaToya who is more pragmatic and factual. There are things that you lose in your adulthood, a kind of innocence, a patina of life that you can’t get back. April 13th the dismantling of the person that I was unwillingly beginning to give way to the person that I must become. Survival.

Bleeding heart. Romantic. Those are among the words that I would have used to describe myself. Not now. Not ever again. I believed in a singular thing, no, not God (that’s a whole other blog entry). And when the dust settled, I was the only one who believed. I had regarded someone for such a long time, despite many reasons why a rational person would not. The heart wants what it wants. Then too, a heart is a living thing, and it too can get it all wrong and it too can die. I had to accept that image of what was in my head had no place in reality. Continue reading “Dismantling”