Reality Sucks

3/23/17

Every time I crack the door,
You slither your way back in.
Always to toy with my emotions,
And play deep beneath my skin.

With age is supposed to come wisdom,
Not true in reference to you.
With 29-year-old eyes I still view you,
Again and again, I let you creep your way back in.

You want to know you’re wanted,
All these years later still.
Yes, unrequited passions,
Lingers for you still.

Our paths will never cross again,
I’ve made sure that they won’t.
Because I understand what I am to you,
And to you, I’m just a joke.

Whenever you wanted to wield control,
On my door, you’d always knock.
Naively I would let you in,
You’d ravage me non-stop.

I always think that somehow you’ve changed,
But that reality is never true.
The one that I’m now left with,
Is the reality without you.

It’s what’s humane and necessary,
Like a dog, you’ve put down.
You’re not the person I envisioned,
You will never be the one.

I’ll love the thought of you for a lifetime,
Our shared memories I will always treasure.
But I’ve blocked you for a reason,
Because I’ll always love myself better.

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Image courtesy of Cubialpha from Pixabay.com.

Grandma

Grandma

11/8/14

I remember like it was yesterday,
How safe she’d make me feel.
I was always loved and cared for,
The first grandchild on the scene.

I hold her in the forefront in my memory,
Always thinking of the past.
Hating life without her,
Not wanting it to last.

She was always kind and gentle,
Her door open to one and all.
She quietly held our lives together,
Never allowing us to fall.

In my mind she lives forever,
In my heart much longer still.
I think of her quite often,
As she lies on a Jamaica hill.

All my life I’d known my grandma,
She was there from the very start.
And now I keep her safely,
In the depths of my longing heart.

Oh, Grandma how I miss you,
My life is not the same.
I was blessed to have had you,
But your death is still a shame.

You live through those who are left behind,
Loved by young and old.
And I hope one day to be with you,
When my time comes to an end.

I love you, Grandma Peggy,
I keep you in my heart.
I wish I had more time with you,
And the pain of losing you to have never start.

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Photo courtesy of LaToya Davidson-Perez

My Father

8/7/14

You sit and toil away at your computer,
Every day and every night.
All too often it is there you slumber,
Blood shot eyes, half-opened mouth.

The monitors they keep growing,
As you hoard all of your stuff.
Servers from the last decade,
You refuse to throw them out.

But you’re loved by the very family,
Who joke about your stuff.
Even when we trip among them,
You will never shut us out.

You love your family fiercely,
And we know you’re always there.
Seldom do you scold us,
Raise your voice, you would not dare.

We can always count on Tony,
Quietly rushing to our aide.
And in the evenings we will find you,
Likely sleeping to the side.

You’ve always been our provider,
A strength that requires for you, little thanks.
But thank you my dear father,
For all the sacrifices you’ve banked.

We come to expect to find you sleeping,
Behind the computers that you love.
There’s a comfort in that vision,
A peace that warms our hearts.

You’ve been there from the beginning,
Chasing mom until she said ‘I do.’
And your kids you’ve taken care of,
Until the day we do the same for you.

You are more than just our father,
You’re my Tubby and my dad.
When we geek out on computers,
I’m reminded that you’re my pal.

Thank you my dearest Tubby,
Thanks for always being there.
Steadfast in your giving,
Thanks for all the things you share.

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Photo courtesy of LaToya Davidson