I wish that I didn’t love him
I wish that he didn’t know,
Just how much he hurt me,
Just how much it shows.
I saw a different person,
Or does it only seem,
Because the one I wanted,
Didn’t even want to be with me.
I didn’t expect to fall for him,
But my heart was so alone,
And so at the slightest gesture,
I pushed away yesterday’s stone.
I ignored all of the warning signs,
When people saw me fall,
‘You don’t know him like I know him,’
Was always my response.
How could this person hurt me,
Our years reduced to none,
The friendship that I thought we had,
Was all assuredly gone.
He told me it meant nothing,
A carnal need now met,
And still I thought redemption,
Was guided in my steps.
Our backgrounds vastly different,
Our souls I thought were both the same,
But what I found was I’d lost myself,
What exactly did I gain?
I gave, you gave nothing,
Is all you had for me,
You gave up true acceptance,
When you decided to use me.