The Reluctant Post

I’m really disappointed in myself. For weeks, I have been on cloud nine. Everything seemed to be going my way. I’d formulate in my head the things I’d write about, the post titles and how to convey in words just how happy I have been. It’s been quite unprecedented, really. I’ve not known a period in my life where I was consistently happy for over a month. But, like most things in life, a little rain must fall.

I didn’t want to post tonight. I’ve been shirking my writing duties. I keep coming up with excuses, none of them very good. One of my clients serves as my accountability partner/coach. We conclude each day reviewing our “wins” for the day and checking in to see if we “did our best” to exercise, to be productive, to be happy and to write/journal, among a list of others. I’d concluded that it was unrealistic for me to make a blog post each day. Quite frankly, my life is not that interesting. Plus, I always feel like there should be some real substance to my writing which I couldn’t achieve by writing daily. What has surprised me is that after a month of living in an apartment community with a walking path around its lake and a now 24/7 gym, I’m now working out at least 5 times per week. Continue reading

200 Posts Later

Can you believe it? I can barely believe it myself. The last time I made a post was August 2015. It’s been over 5 months! Sure, I could say that it is because I didn’t have anything to say but it was really a number of things that has caused me to stop writing. There have been many times since then that I thought that I’d even forgotten how to write. For months, I hemmed and hawed about what I was going to do with my blog. I pay for hosting and thought about moving my blog once my yearly WordPress.com subscription ended. The hope was to expand my writing and use plugins that I could not use through WordPress.com. However, I allowed myself to talk myself into circles and, as a result, stopped writing. I just kept putting it off. You know, tomorrow being another day and all. Even my writing for the newspaper fell off. At the moment, I’m not sure whether or not that’s something that I will be able to continue. But like most things, I’m just going to take it one day at a time.

Last night I spoke to a client of mine who has in many ways become a bit of an accountability partner. We check out daily and run down a list of things that we’d like to be held accountable for. They range from being productive to exercising. We’d gone over a month (maybe two) without doing our checkouts. During that time, we both started to regress. Like a muscle needing exercise, we’d started to slip back into old habits that did little to inspire us to be our better selves. I didn’t realize just how much I needed that. And so, here I am. Again. I’ve paid for my WordPress subscription so that I can have some much-needed aesthetic control of my blog, and I’m writing again. Last week I wrote two new poems which I’ll post at a later time. It’s an accomplishment that I feared would not happen. Referring back to a muscle needing exercise, certain parts of my brain have been off for some time. I couldn’t tell you the last book that I’ve read and as is evident by the lack of frequency in my blog posts, I’ve not been nourishing my mind through writing. Continue reading